Today is the first day of the rest of my life...

I found a lump in my breast. The only reason I'm writing about this is because I need to release some of the emotions that have been running through my body the last two days.

Yesterday morning, when I got up, I noticed that something didn't look right with my left breast. I did a self exam and felt a lump. I immediately called my OB-GYN and they had me come in right away. I was calm...I thought this had to be a mistake, I was making a big deal out of nothing. So the doctor comes in and asks me how I'm doing and I lost it. I cried. I let out all the emotions that I had felt for the last 2 hours...She let me cry, she gave me tissues, then a hug and then she gave me a breast exam. I laid there thinking, she hasn't found anything yet, so I must have just overreacted...and then she feels a lump.

They couldn't get me in for a mammogram until today, so I had to go all evening worrying. I almost didn't tell my husband about any of this. I didn't want to worry him or anyone else for that matter, but I finally broke down and told him. I needed his support and he didn't let me down.

I go this morning for the mammogram and I know my OB-GYN said that if the Radiologist saw anything on the mam then they would do a Ultrasound...they get done with my mam, made me wait about 10 minutes (in a room, by myself, with one of those shirt gowns on - in case the pictures didn't come out clear and they had to do them again), all I had to look at was the machine and wonder what was next until the nurse came back and when she did, she said the one thing I didn't want to hear. The Radiologists wants you to have the Ultrasound done. I cried again. I have to admit, everyone that I came into contact with about this whole thing was so nice and thoughtful and they let me cry and they gave me hugs and they cared.

Off I go to get the Ultrasound...They have me show them where we had felt the lump and she took lots of Ultrasound pictures and then once again, I was left alone to wait. (I know they can't babysit me, I mean they are looking at my test and trying to decide if I have breast cancer, but a 10 second wait can feel like a lifetime.) After a few minutes, she came back into the room and said the words that I prayed she would say, "Since you and your doctor felt the lump, the Radiologist wanted to be sure about your tests, so that's why he had you do both the mammogram and the Ultrasound. He's looked at both tests and he can't find anything in your mammogram pictures or in the Ultrasound. He says you are fine." Again, I cried...this time they were tears of joy and relief and tears of promises that I will eat healthier and be more active and learn all that I can about cancer and how to prevent it...The nurse hugged me and told me she was happy it turned out to be good news and then she told me I could get dressed...I sat there, alone once again, but this time I didn't mind. I needed the time alone to thank God and to think about my life, my family, and my friends and to cry. This nurse allowed me all the time that I needed and when I was finally dressed, she walked me to the lobby and told me again how glad she was that everything turned out good.

I don't remember walking to my car. But I when I got in, I grabbed my phone and called my husband and told him everything was okay and then we cried together.

Thank you for letting me share and cry again while reliving this. Do your breast exams! Tell every woman you know to do their breast exams! Teach your husbands or loved ones how to do the breast exams to you. They will feel things that you may not pick up on...honest...however you do it...just do it! Hugs...