I am making a few changes in my life...
I took some time and thought about something long and hard. Do I really want to write? Do I really want to be a writer? After debating back and forth and not thinking about anything else, but this, I decided "no", I really didn't. I mean if I did, then why wasn't I thinking up new ideas for books, magazines, etc.? Why wasn't I sending my stories out into the world? Why wasn't I spending every free minute writing? Why wasn't I learning my craft? Why wasn't I...writing? So I decided to quit. I am no longer going to be a writer. The decision was final. I was no longer going to write children's stories. I was no longer going to be in critique groups. I was no longer going to write.
Right after the decision was made, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt like I could breathe. I felt free! and then it started...ideas started coming to me right and left...
What was happening? I couldn't understand it..here I had made the decision to quit writing and now all these ideas were coming to me. Was it just the writing troll playing games with me? I tried to ignore the ideas, but found myself writing things down on anything I could find...napkins, toilet paper, my arm! I was going crazy! I was driving myself nuts!
So I thought about this new wave of ideas...Why was this happening? Why was I acting like a writer? And then it came to me. I needed to give myself a break. I had needed to let me off the hook. And when I did that...when I took that breath and let myself relax, I started writing again. I started "wanting" to write again.
So I decided to make another decision...I am trying to get things ready, so that I can take time off from work and write. I don't mean quit my job...can't afford that, but just some "catching up" time off. I'm trying to get work in order, so I can concentrate only on writing...I will disconnect the net, so that I won't be tempted to surf...
I'm not sure when this will happen, but I'm trying for having this happen in the next couple of weeks...sort of like a mini NaNo of my own...
In the meantime, I will be jotting down ideas...and I am hoping things will turn around for me and my writing...
Hugs...Brenda
4 comments:
Ya! That's how it works!
Women spend years trying to get pregnant and when they finally give up and say, "It's okay, I'll be fine if we adopt," BOOM! They get pregnant.
Same with singles. You never find the right man until you're no longer looking for him.
Yup. That's just how life works. I'm glad you've found your writing mojo. Hang on and have a fun ride.
:)
Linda
Linda...
Isn't it funny how letting ourselves off the hook can sometimes give us what we wanted all along...
Hugs...Brenda
Brenda,
Been there done that. It's like a drug. We're hooked. :o)
It seems like I have gone back and forth with this for year or more...sigh...
I've worked more on writing these past few weeks then I have in awhile, so I'm hoping the addiction is hooking me again...
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